UPDATE: I will be guest hosting the Yes to God Tuesdays online Bible studies as my sweet friend, Lelia, is unable at this time. I have participated in all but one of her studies over the last 18 months.
We've all done the pull-the-daisy petals: he likes me, he likes me not. We expect that to work. And, if it ends on he like me not, well there are do-overs. We do it over hoping for the opposite. As women don't we also do this with females? Am I the only one who wonders if a woman likes me and values my friendship? I've often felt my friendships were lopsided. That is, that I put more value, desire, and energy into the friendship than the other person.
Take a guess at the title of chapter seven in Becoming More. That's right..."She Likes Me, She Likes Me Not". Lysa shared her childhood dreams of pappagallo flats and madras shorts, changing her name to Buffy, and grosgrain hair ribbons. It all boiled down to "I just wanted to be accepted. By someone."
I wouldn't go back to grade school or high school for anything. Too much drama of not feeling accepted, girl "fights", and wanting to fit in.
When Lysa blogged on this topic, she received numerous comments from ladies feeling this way as an adult. Many women thought they were alone in their feelings, insecurities, and wanting to be accepted and liked. We are not alone! Women are creatures specifically created for relationships, female relationships, and girl friends.
I had not thought of this but Lysa says maybe we can never be totally rid of our insecurities. "If they press us to draw closer to God, the only secure thing, then healthy doses of insecurities might not be so bad." Though, those insecurities that distract and paralyze need to be addressed.
Lysa shares that to make peace with our feelings of inadequacy, we "must operate in God's love and operate with God's love."
*Operating IN God's Love*
"Operating in God's love means understanding how His love can redefine my natural thought processes." How? With God's Word. Meditating and soaking in His Word will transform our thoughts to align with His truth about us...depleting satan's lies. "I have retrained my brain so God's truths interrupt my negative thought patterns."
"Stop looking to others for validation." Does that hit others in the heart like it does me? I look to my supervisors to validate my value as an employee. I look to my readers to validate my ability to write. I look to my friends to validate my 'likeability'. I need to veer to God's Word in front of the negative thoughts to cut them off before they start. Kind of like cutting people off when I drive. Just joking!!
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken. Isaiah 4:10
"This comforting reality helps me to not shy away from hard things but to press into God's strength and operate with more courage."
Though we may not be accepted, nor liked, nor validated, we never escape the unfailing love of the Almighty One. A 10.0 earthquake won't shake His love for us.
Infallible. Stable. Reliable. Able despite us, what we do or don't do.
Meditation. Repetition. Of God's word, His thoughts, His truth.
"Until the truth seeps in and I can leave the petal-pulling behind."
*Operating WITH God's Love*
"Operating with God's love allows me to rest in a security beyond myself. It's okay that I'm insecure if it prompts me to rely on God more fully." God can show us the way to use our insecurities for our advantage. How? Insecurities can create sensitivity and discernment in us for others with insecurities. Through a hug, an encouraging word, a comment (ON THIS BLOG...wink wink), an email, or a card (remember those from way back in the postal days?)
Robert McGee, from The Search for Significance, says: "Loneliness is one of the most dangerous and widespread problems in America...Ninety-two percent of Christians attending a recent Bible conference admitted...feelings of loneliness were a major problem...sense of despair at feeling unloved...fear of being unwanted or unaccepted."
By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another. John 13:35
Allow God to use our insecurities and prompt us to love others more. "Really think about the simplicity of simply loving others and yet the absolute profound impact that it could make." Profound impact.
"One of satan's greatest tools to hold us back from telling the world about Christ is to get us to put our sense of security in the wrong place."
Look for the good. Judge less. Overlook rude actions. Be sensitive to those overlooked.
Insecurity is "a gift that should lead me to operate in God's love and with God's love."
Maybe we all need to join Lysa in replacing The Official Preppy Handbook with The Official Holy Bible.
I know that petal pushers (capris) are in style but let's not be petal pullers. Let's not focus on whether he or she likes us but that the Almighty One loves us.
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Letting God Rid Me of Petal-Pulling,
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