Indescribable

This is a post I drafted on January 8th. It was prompted by my spirit being so deeply moved in church by the song "Indescribable". I remember the previous weeks had been difficult beginnning with December 31st being my beloved's birthday and to me a "couples" holiday. Then, the first week of January was stressful at work as the week prior to classes starting is always difficult for my office. (I work at a college.) So, that Sunday I remember I just raised my heart to praise Him when this song was sung. I came home after church that day and drafted my own description of God using some of the words in the song (indescribable, uncontainable, incomparable, and unchangeable). Other than that, this is what flowed from my heart. I want to make it my ring tone but haven't yet. Tonzr.com is not working with my Verizon. (Any free ring tone sites? Let me know.)

Indescribable
He can't be described in a way to do Him justice.
We can't put into words all that He is.
All that He does, gives, and is can't be scripted.

Unimaginable/Unfathomable
What He does for us is more than we could ever imagine. (Eph. 3:20)
God makes the most impossible odds into amazing miracles.
He makes good out of the worst of the worse.
Only He could cause an atheist to proclaim Christ as Lord.

Unexplainable
Every prayer, every word uttered, is heard by God at the same time.
All of creation, earth, stars and galaxies are His doing.
He knows every hair on our heads.
He has told every lightning bolt where to go.
His depth of love is unexplainable.

Uncontainable
His power and love cannot be contained.
His majesty is too large.
What He can do is not restricted.
His devotion cannot escape us.
His Spirit cannot be contained in His children.
He cannot contain His forgiveness but gives it freely.

Incomparable
He cannot be compared to anything else.
His love cannot be measured by any other.
His ways out scale any plan of ours.
His faithfulness is without compare.
His forgiveness is pure, unlike another.

Unchangeable
He is the same today, tomorrow, and forever.
His character remains through and through.
His love is steady when we are not.
His forgiveness is never ending, never changing.

In Awe of All He Is,

© Copyright 2008

Look Back, Remember, Meditate

Let's look back at chapter eight, "Look Back: Forget Not His Benefits, O My Soul". If you want to look back at the thoughts of others, go to Lelia's. (Jennifer Rothschild's quotes in brown.)

"The real power of any moment is fully realized when it is remembered. The experience might have been painful or pleasant, but its intensity and meaning grow when we remember and reflect upon it."

As Jennifer explains, our thought closet is like a library in our heads, holding the stories of our lives, with both good and bad books. We should look back only on what is profitable. Jennifer defines profitable when it:
♥Adds to soul wellness
♥Prompts maturity and growth
♥Contributes to personal and understanding
♥Challenges broad thinking
♥Can be pleasant or painful
♥Assigns meaning
♥Protects from repeating mistakes
♥Guards from needless worry
♥Becomes stepping stone

"Even hard times in our lives can contribute great wisdom to our thought closets."

Painful memories allow for some great soul talk. They provide reflection on what the pain brought: peace, trust, gratitude, and meaning. ...Beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair... Isaiah 61:3

"If you don't label a painful memory with meaning, it will retain a negative connotation. It will be stripped of its potential profit." What a revelation. Imagine if we all began to add meaning to our painful memories. We'd have a closet full of profitable memories, instead of ones that pull us down with anger, resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness. If we see meaning in our pain, we can even release from our closets all the negative effects and feelings created by the pain and transform the effects into positive and profitable.

Forget me not. Forget Him not. Forget not what He has done. Forget not the good He has brought in the worst of times. "Remembering the good things of God sometimes causes you to reflect back on the bad things of life. But don't shy away from those painful memories because in those dark, difficult places, we often become more deeply acquainted with the good and comforting presence of God." Amen, sister! Is that not the truth?! In our darkest of times, we find the unimaginable comfort from God. Unimaginable. It is in those times, we see the greatness of God. Without the bad in life, we cannot experience the depth of good from God.

Though we are prone to forgetfulness (from what I hear starting at 40)...
Let us promote "forgetting not".
Let us choose to remember.

I will remember my songs in the night.
I will meditate with my heart,
And my spirit ponders...
I shall remember the deeds of the Lord;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
I will meditate on all Your work
And muse on Your deeds. Psalm 77:6, 11-12

I will. I shall. Remember. Meditate.

"Meditating on the past is a form of remembering, but meditating on the future is a form of worry. Ever thought of that? Are you good at meditating?" Well, yes. Unfortunately, I have a resounding yes to both forms of meditating. I desire to increase the remembering and decrease the worry.

Not true yet. Oh how such worry can come from three little words. How can we so easily worry over something that is not true yet? How can that be? God specifically tells us to not worry about tomorrow. If it's not true yet, then it's worry over tomorrow. If it's worry over tomorrow then it's not true yet. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25, 35

In her interview with Jennifer, Alicia Britt Chole (a former atheist) says "Meditation on untruth is unprofitable for the soul. So if it's not true, or not true yet, I won't allow myself to go there." Alicia shared how she has to train her brain to not dwell on the unprofitable, not-true-yet thoughts. Want to guess what she does to combat those thoughts? You got it...praying for other people and reading God's Word. Surprise, surprise. Are those not the two strengths in life we have for everything: prayer and God's Word.

I leave you with a final thought of Jennifer's. "Remembering can turn even the most difficult milestones into stepping stones on a path of gratitude, contentment, and peace."

I have definitely learned to label the worst and most painful milestones in my life as a spiritual marker. If it were not for this extremely difficult heartache being a spiritual marker of God's, I'd never survive. I gleam such encouragement and hope from knowing that my pain has purpose and from my tragedy and heartache there is so much 'spiritualness' to be gained and nurtured.

God kept speaking this verse to me.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Remembering Him and Meditating on His,

© Copyright 2008

Persistence. Perseverance. Prayer.

So for those two lonely souls :-) who have been waiting on the edge to read the second half to Do Not Lose Heart, here it is. I hope it's not a disappointment (if you anticipated something grander). This is what I found in my notebook as I referenced in my previous post.

Jesus loved teaching in parables. One of those was to teach us we should never give up in prayer. Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: 'In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' 'For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' And the Lord said, 'Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?' Luke 18:1-8

Jesus proposed to the listener the question of how many people with such persistent faith He'd find upon His return. That, to me, is very convicting. Discouragement does come easy when we don't see results to our prayers but Jesus challenges us to not give up. Pray continually. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Devote yourselves to prayer. Colossians 4:2

I believe that God views differently our faithful dedication to prayer in the most difficult of circumstances. Faith is easy when we see answers to prayers and blessings showered on us. God knows the endurance and strength required to be persistent and dedicated to not lose hope when we see nothing happening.

~~How would you rate your faith in believing for your most urgent prayer request?

~~Are you being persistent and faithful in prayer for this thing the Lord has not yet answered?

~~Do you often forget to pray for that particular need as you feel like it may never happen?

~~What has caused you to lighten up on this heaviest prayer request of yours?

"Will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly." Luke 18:7-8

Let's quickly look at two other examples of women persisted in faith and prayer. Shunammite and Hannah.

The Shunammite woman (2 Kings 4:8-37) often opened her home to Elisha. She provided him his own space and Elisha returned the favor by putting a favorable word in the king's ear about her desire for a child. When her son became ill and died, Elisha cried out to God asking for life to be restored to this dead boy. God heard. God listened. God answered. God returned life.

She came in, fell at his feet and bowed to the ground. Then she took her son and went out. 2 Kings 4:37

Obedience. Commitment. Persistence. Perseverance.

The story of Hannah has become one of my favorites. There's so much to her life, actions, and character. However, her persistence is resounding. She never relented. She continually went before the Throne asking for a child. She never stopped asking. She never stopped seeking. She never stopped listening. Even in her weakest moments--moments of doubt, moments of questions--she shared her heart, grief, and desires with God. I can so relate to her not necessarily in regards to her desires for a child. Doubts yet persistence. Questions yet persistence. Weariness yet persistence. Grief yet persistence. Longing yet persistence.

Then Hannah prayed and said:"My heart rejoices in the LORD; in the LORD my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance. "There is no one holy like the LORD; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. "The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. He will guard the feet of his saints, but the wicked will be silenced in darkness. "It is not by strength that one prevails." 1 Samuel 2:1-2, 6-7, 9

Another consideration is that the enemy wants us to give up, stop praying, stop believing, stop persisting. If we give in, lose heart, and stop believing, he has won. He wants us to stop communicating with the Father. He wants us to stop believing in God to act. He wants us to be filled with doubt. God is not the father of doubt and confusion. Satan fathers those. And do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

Instead, let us follow Jesus' example and His instructions. "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. Mark 14:38-39

You may have been praying for a very long time, but possibly you have stopped praying regularly. May I challenge you to never give up on praying for that prayer not yet answered.

Your persistence, perseverance, and faith will be rewarded in God's perfect timing!

Persisting, Persevering, Praying, Believing,

© Copyright 2008

Heat Up, Cool Down

The beginning of this seventh chapter, "Calm Down: I Have Stilled and Quieted My Soul", met me with memories flowing of a time less peaceful and calm. Unfortunately, I can relate to Jennifer Rothschild's description of the time she exploded on her husband. Too many times I could sadly say. "Our reactions reveal the temperature inside our thought closet." Then unfortunately, my thought closet would've been found at a very dangerously high temperature. Of course back then, I had no idea about using my "soul talk to keep the thermostat at a cool and steady temperature." I didn't learn then how to still and quiet my soul.

Most know shalom is Greek for peace. But I never thought of it as Jennifer noted--"a prayer that asks God to secure a person's well being." Well being. My well being. Your well being. We know peace is not a matter of having peaceful, calm, and smooth circumstances. Rather, peace is within us and is only provided by God Himself. True peace is when our lives are chaotic, crazy, stressful, and even 'out of control'.

What a beautiful revelation when Jennifer realized her blindness didn't take away her control but rather exposed that she never really had ultimate control to begin. She hit it on the head with this statement. "So much of the anger in our lives comes from unmet expectations and frustrations that we don't have ultimate control."

Peace...ahhh...what we all want and need. Open hands show trust. Open hands are positioned to receive. To have open hands, we need to trust God. "Our trust in God is inextricably linked to our peace from God. Peace comes when we loosen our grip and let down our guard before our Heavenly Father." You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

Relax the grip of your hand. Relax the grip of my hand. I need to relax my grip and trust Him more with His timing, His way, His plan. I trust Him with my life so why do I question His timing or His way in certain areas? Why do I want to say "can ya hurry though God"? If His timing is perfect (which it is), then why would I want 'it' to come earlier and have anything less than perfect?

Ultimate peace comes from acknowledging ultimate control is His.

Know Him, know peace.
No Him, no peace.

Jennifer shares some washouts to the path of peace: negative mind-set, anger over adversity, stubborn defiance.

Our mind-set can be a bridge or a wall.
Bridge: open, progress, movement, travel
Wall: barrier, obstacle, block, end, hindrance, washout

Anger over adversity can cause a washout on our path to peace.
Adversity can cause anger or acceptance.
Acceptance: hope, encouragement, peace
Anger: kills, wearing, defeating, washout

Marcus Aurelius says "How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it." Stop. Ponder that.

Stubborn defiance can cause a washout on our road to peace.
"Absence of peace is not an I can't situation. It's an I won't problem." Defiance, if unwilling to let go of anger, hurts us and causes a block to the peace we desire. Anger is not always known. Anger is not always seen. Anger is not always out loud. It is not just what we consider in actions and words. It can be something we harbor internally from childhood. It can pretty much come from any adversity we face in life when we don't deal with our real feelings. It can dwell so deep into our souls that we may not realize it is there or even how it got there.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1

We are never void of sin's temptation. We are also never void of the spark of anger within us. What causes the temptation to turn into sin? What causes the spark of anger to ignite? Our self talk. Soul talk. The contents of our thought closet. It all starts there. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 I don't know about you but I use to always think of this scripture meaning our verbal words to other people. Oh no. It means the quiet ones to our self also...our self talk. We need to readjust our thought closet so our answers to ourselves are gentle and not harsh words that can stir our own anger deep within our well.

Water. Water is so pure. It is good for so many things: gardens, yards, animals, vegetation, clothes, vehicles, bodies, skin...and anger. Anger? Yes, we can throw water onto our anger and calm the flames. Water can extinguish what gasoline will explode to an inferno.

Gasoline: highlights flaws, criticizes, escalates emotions, judges quickly, harsh without mercy
Water: soothes, settles emotions, encourages, cleanses, full of discretion/grace/mercy, no condemnation, can be difficult and corrective bringing wellness

Choose water. Choose a bridge. Choose acceptance. Choose P-E-A-C-E.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Choosing Him for it all,

To see other reflections of Self Talk, Soul Talk visit Lelia.

Do Not Lose Heart

This post was originally meant to go last Friday but God had something else for me to post (praise and worship for Him). So some of the timing may sound off because this was written in the perspective as it occurred January 30th.

After a week of asking God to "show me", I sit saying, could this be it? Could this be what You are showing me? Once again, I read a back issue of a devotional (RM 1/22/09) and the scripture screamed at me: "believe, do not doubt, do not lose heart." God is coming and He's coming in a big way for me and in my life. I knew that I needed to pen what He was saying to me in this specific Luke scripture. I did just that. Later, I wanted to further meditate on this particular scripture. These verses spoke on persistence and perseverance. Those seem to be the themes resonating on my heart as of late and in the last 19 months.

Let me retract just a bit. About two months ago I purchased a simple notebook. This would be kept close to jot down anything the Lord brings to mind. It could be a page full or just three lines. It is a place to record thoughts and subjects God speaks to me. As I pondered this Luke scripture on persistence, I was positive I had already written some thoughts on the subject. What sweet amazement when I scanned my notebook to find two pages entitled: "Persistence. Perseverance. Prayer." Wow, Lord! Thank You, Lord! You do speak to me. You are speaking to me. And, I can hear You, too. I find it no coincidence that the week I've cried to Him in prayer to 'show me' that He shows me persistence, perseverance, and prayer. That is exactly what I needed to hear on this particular issue on my heart. I had fallen into some moments of doubt and question and He came through (no surprise, huh) and I'm claiming this message!

Stay tuned to be amazed what God had already said to me. Return to find out the result of putting pen to paper over a month ago and see how the scripture today relates to the message He gave me previously at the beginning of January.

I hate to cut this right here but if I include the rest it will be too long. I also don't like posting without giving you something that uplifts, encourages, strengthens, or enlightens. So I will give you the passage to examine.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "

And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?" Luke 18:1-8

Please come back this time next week. You won't regret it. It's some powerful stuff!!! Powerful! I hope I can wait until then to post the remaining.

Not Losing Heart (or Hope),

Look Up, Look Down, Look All Around

Look up, look down, look all around...
and hope will be found...
in God alone.

That's not quite the version we sang as children, but it's just something that flowed from my heart as I began this sixth chapter titled "Look Up: Hope in God, My Soul." Check what others took from this chapter by going to Lelia's. Or sit back and reap whatever encouragement I can sow to you, dear ones.

Unshakable and fearless that's to be desired. Not falling into despair.

We can be:
~Overcome with fear
~Shaken by doubt
~Bonded in guilt
~Intimidated by despair

Or we can be:
~Grounded in hope
~Anchored by hope
~Living full of hope
~Clinging to hope

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Psalm 42:5

Many times in the busyness of the day, I can feel something not right within me. I have to literally stop and ask myself what is the piece of sand rubbing in my shell. I, then, can recognize it again--oh yeah--I'm hurt over a friend's comment, I'm worried over a relative's spiritual state, I'm self-conscious about a conversation, I'm regretful over a harsh word, I'm bothered by an insensitive reaction...whatever it is, my heart must stop and face it again. Instead of letting the busyness of the day cover it.

Jennifer says "Christians who have every reason to hope experience feelings of hopelessness." Though the examples previously given do not cause me to feel despair and hopelessness, I do feel overcome with these feelings more times than not regarding more serious situations. Along with that, comes the guilt of knowing I have so much for which to be thankful and hopeful, yet...yet, I can be filled with sadness, disappointment, blues, depression, despair, and hopelessness...shamefully so, for me.

Emerson wrote "Life is a train of moods like a string of beads." However, I want my string to be made of unshakeable and unbreakable material. A string that is worn and torn is likely to break dispersing all the beads on the floor. God is my string. He will not break. He will not be shaken. Our beads will be secure on the string of God. He can keep our moods in tact. He can keep our beads together.

Jennifer gives a wonderful illustration of us being like a table with four even and sturdy legs: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual.

Emotional Leg
Emotions can: give false conclusions, take over, cause despair, enslave, deplete.
Instead they should: serve, strengthen, compliment the truth.

"Our problems usually have less to do with our circumstances than with the way we choose to feel about them." Amen, sister. You speak right to my heart and convict me. I know this is so true for me. I can get wrapped up in my feelings of: worry, fear, what ifs, uncertainty, sadness, concern, hurt, etc. However, this is really just all in vain. I do not need to worry over my future. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I am in my Father's Hands. Period. Worrying past that is just ridiculous. Plum ri-dic-u-lous!

Physical Leg
Jennifer mentioned the three basic components of our physical leg: rest, food, and exercise. If we examine each of these, we an see they all boil down to two things: discipline and desire. We have to discipline ourselves to get adequate rest. We have to discipline ourselves to eat healthy. We have to discipline ourselves to exercise regularly. We must also desire to do each of these, or rather, desire the results of them. The health of our soul and thought life does have much to do with our physical state. Our bodies are His temples.

Mental Leg
Jennifer shares "With way too much idle mental time, I overanalyzed my marriage and husband. The results were unreasonable expectations, despair, and frustration." Oh how I can see me in that. I remember so many nights I would ask beloved if he minded we watch Wheel of Fortune as I felt bored. He questioned whether I was bored with him. I now see it was my need to be mentally challenged. (Some may think I'm mentally challenged but that's beside the point...I mean to be challenged mentally, stay with me now.) In reflection, I see my mind was craving challenge. I needed my mind to work, to figure, to solve. Mentally, my mind seems to be at its best and fulfilled when I'm extremely busy at work. The down times can be torture on my brain. In the latter of my marriage, I now can see how I was playing solitaire and computer games to challenge my brain. I wasn't active in Bible studies or small groups so I didn't get challenged there. My mind is now being challenged with so many things: two Bible studies, faithful Bible reading, and continual thoughts of words to write for the Lord. Jennifer states this leg is the one frequently neglected. That is easy to see

Spiritual Leg
"When the spiritual leg of your table isn't secure, the weakness isn't always obvious. This seems to be the invisible leg, but it is really the weight-bearing leg of the table." I hear ya now, Jenn. My weakness in my marriage wasn't obvious to me either as it involved my spiritual leg. Mine was off-kilter and boy did the symptoms show up in my other three legs. In retrospect, I can see how my spiritual needs weren't met and everything failed in me physically, emotionally, and mentally. I see in each of these areas where I had major issues and ailments as a result of my spiritual leg becoming very unstable and shaky. (No sleep, illnesses, extreme moods, intense stress...I could go on.)

The deepest longing of my soul was to commune more closely with God. When that wasn't happening I looked to the other three legs, only to be frustrated and disappointed because they could not substitute my need of a closer walk with God.

Our Table
Once our four legs are secure, our table will be solid. Then, we must choose hope. Jennifer's section on 'Hope in God' was very convicting to me. By not purposely choosing hope, I'm choosing despair by default. No, wait, I don't want the default. Why in the world would I, you, we willingly choose despair over hope? We shouldn't. We can't anticipate hope will cause a burst of optimism but it can most definitely shift our focus onto the potential. That's a definite start, amen?!

God's Promises
What promises from God do you need to remind your soul of to help you not lose hope?
These are only a few of the promises that first came to mind. May they give you some encouragement also.
~He is good to us as we wait on Him. Lam. 3:25
~He has plans and hope for us. Jer. 29:11
~He will work for our good. Rom. 8:28
~He will direct our paths. Prov. 3:6
~What He's joined together no man can separate. Matt. 19:6
~He is sovereign and in control. Psalm 3:19

I'm attaching my hope in God to the promises of God. How about you? Do you have some promises from God on which you can cling? Cling tight!
Hoping in Him,


I hope you can see the detail in the ice on my bush. The snow storm caused a lot of chaos but boy did it provide a lot of beauty. Click on it to enlarge. Magnificent.

My Heart & My Eyes

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

After this ('Show Me') posting Saturday, I really began to think I had done it in vain. I began to question what value it could be to another person except to feel sorry for this poor soul. I even thought "oh well, I guess it's a learning lesson...it was just for me to feel like I shared my heavy and broken heart and feel others listened." I reduced it to just one of those experiences where "releasing" one's feelings is therapeutic. Yet, even in this, He too has corrected me once again. From the comments, it seems I have encouraged another soul, maybe two or three, or many. Thank you sweet, Jesus, for reminding me I am your vessel and a vessel You ARE using for the good of others. Thank You, for reminding me to again not doubt myself and what You speak to my heart.

This is my heart. My heart...
in the palm of His hands
in the providential care of His love
in the sovereign plan of His desires

What a better and more majestic way to come out of a week of hibernation in the snow storm and the depressing solitude, than to lift my eyes and praise the wonderful name of Jesus. Will you join me? Will you lift your eyes?

When I lift my eyes, this is what my heart says so deeply, even to the core of my being...

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

'Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
'Cause you fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now
God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs YOU now.

I sang praises to God this past Sunday morning. I wanted this song and worship in that moment to last forever. I love to hear Bebo Norman sing this also.

This song is so very personal to me as it so explicitly reveals my heart. Oh what praise I sang and even more what praise of which He is so worthy because for me...

There are...
Mountains I can't climb.
Raging oceans I can't tame.
Hurt I can't heal.
Saving I can't provide.

But I have...
A Maker who climbs for me.
A Calmer who calms me.
A Healer who heals me.
A Lover who saves me.

Please Lord...
Hear me cry out.
Have mercy on me.
Be near me.
Calm me.
Hold me.
Take my doubt.
Pull me with Your kindness.
Draw me with Your love.

Your beloved needs YOU now, Lord. Now, Your beloved needs you.
Right here, right now, I cry out and I bring what I have...me...all of me.
I am Yours Lord and You are mine.

I've read this several times and my heart is so full of this...the pain, the praise, the love, the security, the longing, the need, the help, ALL beautifully packed into one all at the same time. Thank You sweet, sweet Jesus. If You do nothing but love me, I praise You. If You do more, I don't know how I'd ever repay You in praise and worship. I'm believing You right now for what You see in my heart...indeed in my bleeding heart also. Keep my eyes always, always looking up to You, lifting my all to You, precious Lord.

Crying, Needing, Praising, Loving...

The picture is of a "bleeding heart" flower. Look closely and you will see the heart and what is to be the 'drip' from the point.

Awake & Be Alert!

Chapter five of Self Talk, Soul Talk is titled "Tune In: Awake, My Soul". Don't worry if you are not doing this online study with us, hosted by Lelia. It is my prayer and hope that you are enlightened, enriched, uplifted, or strengthened through any morsel fed by this soul. My purpose is not to just enrich my life but also yours through sharing these studies. Let's begin...

As Jennifer talked about her diamond ring, I understood the deep value in something material, such as a wedding ring. I also knew where she was leading us. "I lost what was most valuable to me because I was distracted by the urgency of dirty dishes." Let's adjust that a little by saying: I lost what was most valuable to me because I was distracted. Period. Oh how that screamed at me. That's me! I lost one of my most valuables. I lost the second most valuable person. A circle of three was reduced to a circle of two: God and me. And now, only God can restore, replace, and resurrect what I lost by being distracted with the emotional pain hidden deep in my heart. For over two years, I slowly lost myself in my weakened walk with Jesus.

I lost. He will restore.
I was distracted. He will retract.

Wow. All that from one sentence. Thanks, Jenn.

"When we aren't tuned into what is true, we are taken in by what is transient."

Distractions come in many shapes, sizes, and colors.
~~Nettlesome problems. check.
~~Selfish indulgences. check.
~~The seemingly urgent. check.
~~Menial tasks. check.
~~Worry. check.
~~Fear of failure. check.
~~Opinions of others. check.

Wow. That last one can really destroy. The opinions of others combined with worrying over them...a deadly combination. I can't explain the depths of destruction that can be done by those. It truly is a distraction that takes away from the treasures(relationships) that are most important.

"Only when we allow them to keep us from our treasures do they become stumbling blocks in our lives." I had one huge stumbling block.

I want to truly treasure my treasures: my relationship with God and also His approval, a sense of purpose, and loved ones.

I love the imagery of custodial staff not placing empty boxes and cleaning supplies in the same gallery where the Mona Lisa hangs. So, should we not do the same with our thought closets and priorities? We shouldn't junk up our galleries (thoughts) with boxes (distractions) to block our Mona Lisa masterpiece (treasures).

So what in the world is the answer to avoid distractions and highlight treasures?
Focusing for a moment. Gaining perspective. Prioritizing treasures. Talking to your soul!!!

"Even a good thing can become a distraction if it shoves my treasure to the rear of the shelf." So "let's keep the light on so we can clearly see what's in there." If we don't have our own clothes closet organized and we go to reach in for an item, what will we pull out of the dark closet? We may want the dress jacket and pants but we get the painting shirt and sweats. That's not going to make a good impression at the job interview.

We know satan twists everything he touches and everything he speaks so yes he's not above using good things to distract us.

Here's a diagram I use in my head to simplify what Jennifer is saying.
Good things --> Distractions --> Displaced treasures

I love, love, love her analogy with the roaring lion. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 She posed a good question. How does a roaring lion sneak up on anyone? I never thought about this but it's so true. It is because we've become desensitized to his roar. He is always lurking and roaring at us. We just merely tune him and his roar out gradually. Like a hum in our car that fades or a buzz in the house that softens...in our minds that is. That is scary! Is it not? Do not become desensitized to his roar. He roars at the door but don't answer...you don't have to! Don't be the someone for which he's looking.

You are a loser.
No, you are a conqueror. Rom. 8:37

You are weak.
No, He gives strength. Is. 40:31

You are abandoned.
No, God is for you. Rom. 8:31

You are alone.
No, you're not separated from Christ's love. Rom. 8:35

Nobody cares for you.
No, God cares and comforts. 2 Cor. 1:4

God doesn't listen
No, God is near. Ps. 145:18-19

You have no value.
No, you are His. Is. 43:1

This can't be fixed.
No, nothing is too hard for God. Jer. 32:17

Panic!
No, do not worry; pray! Phil. 4:6

Peace is not yours.
No, He gives you peace. John 14:27

You have no willpower.
No, He gives power. 2 Tim. 1:7

Staying Alert,


The picture is from my sweet Australian friend Paula. It is a Sweetpea flower from Burnie, Tasmania (Australia).

Show Me

After a disheartening occurrence a week ago Friday, I knew I had to turn to the Lord right in the midst of the pain and the race of my heart. I didn't have my Bible in the car. I had to keep my mind on God. I prayed. I looked at my dashboard where I knew I had scripture. My scripture strips as I've referenced and invented them. I meditated on the top one. Psalm 25:4. Little did I know it wasn't the last time God would show this to me. I opened my email on that Friday night and read one of my daily devotionals. Would you know that the very first line I read was this verse. The title of the devotional being "The Lord Will Guide Your Steps!" You can imagine the awe. The thankfulness for this verse. The gratefulness for God speaking to me in this verse. The devotional continued with some verses very familiar to me. I am always amazed with one of "my" verses are written in something.

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. Psalm 25:4-5,9-13

Do you need guidance and directions from the Lord in what you need to do? This was the start of the paragraph in the devotional I received. Well, yeah. Of course I do, do you not know my heart and life? I thought.

In this past week, it seems the heaviness has continued. This week of hibernation, because of the snow storm and not working four days, has not helped the heaviness weighing on my discouraged heart. I've thanked the Lord countless times for the electricity maintained in my home. I can't imagine enduring this week in silence, without connection to friends through the web, and with the ability to escape my life via movies and television. I thank the Lord that I was ever so blessed by a friend clearing my driveway. No, he did not shovel my drive. Indeed, he brought his tractor and scooped away the feet and feet of snow. The Lord reminds me of this blessing each time my eyes lay on the huge piles of snow at the end of my drive. Who would've ever seen such beauty in big dirty piles of snow. Just a piece of evidence of His presence. What a warmth to my heart to "see" His assurance of me not being alone even in this week of hibernation, a snow storm, and a heavy heart.

I've cried out to the Father many, many times this week. JUST show me...SHOW me Your ways...SHOW me what to do...SHOW me what to think...SHOW me what to believe in my circumstances. I asked yesterday that He just give me one sign...a sign of what is to come...a sign of what He is doing...a sign of what direction my life lays. Anything. It seems the issues of the heart can be so trying and take a toll on our spirit. It's not a matter of: Should I take this job? Should I sell my car? Should I take a second job? Should I relocate? Should I go back to school? Though, those are all very important matters and could be matters in many lives. It seems I take my issue so seriously and so intently because it is so close to my heart and it is my heart. It is about love, life, forgiveness, partnership, forever, marriage, devotion, commitment, vows, covenant.

It is not a matter of trust...trusting God. It is a matter of pain and longing. How does one put a cap on that? How does one close the door to that? How does one make it less important? How does one let go?

I apologize if this is vague. But it is so, for many reasons. One is that the more vague, the more lightly it may touch one of you and light something in your own heart. Though I try as I might to stick to my mission of this blog, at times, I believe God calls me to share more personally in hopes to accomplish many things. Maybe...healing in my heart, enlightenment in your heart as well as my own heart, encouraging one another, hoping my story of pain will help another share their story. The possibilities are wide when we open our hearts for God to speak to us and through us.

All in all, it is my hope that every post will touch you in some way to enrich your life, strengthen your walk, encourage your heart, or enlighten your mind.

Here are the other scriptures that were in that devotionals. All ones that were either etched on my heart or familiar to me. All verses that were soothing to my soul. May one of them speak to you and sooth your soul, warm your heart, or ease your mind.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

For this God is our God forever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. Psalm 48:14

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

Show Me Lord, Show Me.

Speak Truth

In chapter four Jennifer shares about Speaking Truth to Your Issues. Join us at Lelia's for more insights.

As soon as Jennifer spoke of this woman and referenced her endurance of twelve years, I knew. I knew this woman. I speak of this woman often. I've shared the faith of this woman with others. I admire her faith and I love Jesus' reaction to her. If you are familiar with her, she is the unnamed woman who bled twelve years, touched the hem of Jesus' garment, and was healed by Him. "There comes a time when you must speak a word to your soul that prompts action resulting in healing." Read that again.

Speak. a. Word.
Prompts. Actions
Results. Healing.

The woman with an issue of blood took action with big risks:
1) touching a man
2) touching a rabi
3) appearing publically while unclean
4) being a social outcast
Desperation. She acted in desperation.

If only I touch His cloat, I will get well. If only. IF only.
She believed. She told herself to do it. She spoke truth because His touch does heal.

In all the time I've read this biblical story, I always examined it from the perspective of faith. This woman had such great faith and determination. Yet, Jennifer shows us she also had great soul talk. She didn't just pump herself up with courage to do this but with wisdom and truth. "Her soul talk turned feelings of fear into actions of faith. Her desperate act impressed Jesus so much that He responded to her."

"Jesus never said her soul talk made her well. He said it was her faith. Her faith invited healing. Her soul talk contributed to her faith, but it didn't replace her faith."

"By faith we receive truth. By faith we believe truth. And by faith we act on that truth."

Negative self talk followed by prayer can lead to truthful soul talk.

Jennifer shares how the Holy Spirit has four roles as: Counselor, Christ Representative, Teacher, and Truth Speaker.

God's Spirit Counsels Us
"Hear truth, admit truth, and receive truth."
When I read Jennifer's question of "why is His voice so quiet?", I thought oh hear it is--what I always question. I have to admit though I wish He would scream at me but her answer is so true. "He will not shout down the noise of our busy world. He won't try to overwhelm our distractions. To hear Him, we have to quiet ourselves, step away from the frenzy, and truly listen." That is so God. That is the beauty of His character. He won't fight for our time and attention. Rather, He wants us to come to Him--to show we need Him...we have time for Him... we come attentive and willing to listen to Him.

God's Spirit Represents Christ
The Holy Spirit represents God. So, He will never guide us where God doesn't want us. The Holy Spirit will lead us exactly as God would and does. The Spirit will never lead us anywhere the Word does not take us.

God's Spirit Teaches Us
We need mentors. We need instructors. We need teachers. "When you allow God's Spirit to teach you, your mind is being mentored by none other than the God of eternity."

God's Spirit Speaks Truth to Us
Jennifer described a time on an airplane with an hour delay. She felt herself complaining and focusing on ill-fitting thoughts. Overhearing a small child and father, she had an opportunity to change her thoughts and focus. As she said, "delays and inconveniences were just some of the bumps along the road." That reminded me of something I heard years ago. Basically, we should look at these inconveniences as God's intervention. Instead of complaining about a slow driver causing us to be late, we should consider God very well may be delaying us to prevent us being in an accident. Every time I'm in a rush and try to overcompensate for delays or even fight them by speeding, passing, rushing, I stop and ponder it. I need to adhere to God's delays.

I love this: "When I chose to place 'praiseworthy' thoughts in my closet, the motionless airplane became a sanctuary of peace." Chose. Praiseworthy. Became. Peace.

God's Spirit can always be trusted to lead us to truth. Very often, our own leading will derail us.

Jennifer asks which role we need most. How can I choose one? I would say His counsel or reminder of His truth. It seems these two go hand in hand. When He counsels us He also speaks truth to us whether it's through His word, other people, or the Holy Spirit. I probably need to be more open to opportunities where my thoughts can transition from negative to positive such as when Jennifer was on the airplane. What a time to turn pouting into praising!

The Lord knows how I desire His counsel and seek His way in my life. I so want to follow His way as my blog is titled. For five days straight I've been asking and even begging Him to show me His path. I've meditated on one specific scripture. Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my savior and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:4-5

Seeking Him,

Forgiveness: Not a Done Deal

Say what? Strange title. Though thankfully, when we seek God's forgiveness, He forgives. It is then wiped from His mind, His memory, His slate. He does not struggle with forgiving us. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. Hebrews 8:12 However, we mere mortals are so much different. We cannot say, I forgive and it necessarily be a done deal. Sometimes, many times, we must go back and forgive the person and infraction again and again. Each time we are reminded of the occurrence. Each time we feel the impact of that pain. Each time we try to relive that hurt. Yes, we must choose to say "No, I do forgive you. I forgive you for hurting me again and again on this issue." We must continually forgive. It's not a once forgiven always forgiven. Each time we have a thought muster up, we must choose to forgive that act. Each time we are disappointed by the actions of another we must forgive again.

Let me illustrate with a friend's situation. I hope to be clear while being vague and protecting identity. The husband and father left the family. The children struggle with anger toward the father. Even once coming to accept his abandonment and forgiving him, there are continual instances in which continual forgiveness is needed. When dad doesn't show up for his weekend...the children must forgive. When dad doesn't show up for their ball games...the children must forgive. When dad doesn't call as promised...the children must forgive. So, even if forgiveness is extended to the dad for leaving the family and causing emotional pain and abandonment, there are future events that will call the children to forgive that hurt again. There's a ho' 'nother (to mimic Pastor Ed Young Jr) set of forgiveness with the wife. She will continually be bopped in the head with instances requiring her to forgive her prodigal spouse. When the car breaks down...she must forgive. When the child support is late...she must forgive. When the stress of raising their children alone is too much...she must forgive.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

Contrary to what some believe, forgiveness is not as easy as just doing it. It's not easy to say "I forgive because Christ does." Anyone who is in that position, I must wonder if true and deep forgiveness has been extended. Yes, we should forgive because Christ first forgave us. He tells us He will not forgive us if we don't forgive others. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 Forgive, and you will be forgiven Luke 6:37.

However, I don't see where He said it would be easy or even instant. How can we truly forgive an offense immediately and instantly? If someone has figured it out, please share with us all. I had a dear friend tell me I was to forgive (happen to be her) immediately and instantly. However, I cannot conscientiously say I forgive her (or anyone), not "feel" it truly, and then face my Lord. I can't profess to her, anyone, or my Lord I forgive and then my actions and heart say something totally different. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." Matthew 18:35 From the heart...not just the lips. It hurts badly to be deceived, rejected, abandoned, mistreated. It seems to be there is nothing worse than to be abandon or loyalty taken. To depend on someone, to trust someone, to rely on someone, to expect their presence, love, and loyalty to always be there...and then nothing.

We cannot control what another does. Forgiveness really isn't about the other person. It is about the condition of our heart. Forgiveness is the firewall to bitterness and resentment. Without forgiveness, we take the risk of bitterness creeping into our heart and damaging it. Once it takes up full residency, it can cause such pain and trials in our lives. It is also harder to rid our heart of it once it resides there long term.

When my soul cries to sleep from loneliness...I must forgive. When the yard and house maintenance are too much for one...I must forgive. When I pass the Valentine cards and long to send one...I must forgive. When my heart is filled with how come...I must forgive. When decisions are left to be made alone...I must forgive. When help with broken appliances is needed...I must forgive. When memories of beautiful times flow...I must forgive. When love pours from my heart meant to be shared...I must forgive. When simple feels of missing and longing linger...I must forgive. When I don't understand how satan so easily had his way in deceiving my beloved...I must forgive. When abandonment is overpowering...I must forgive. When it's all too much to accept or comprehend...I must forgive...as Christ did. I must speak from my heart as Christ did...forgive him for he knows not what he's doing. He knows not the gravity of decisions and paths not of God chosen. Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:24

We know that to extend forgiveness is primarily for ourselves. To forgive another benefits us more than the other person. However, I know my heart deeply longs to be forgiven. My heart knows that the bonds of satan and his ability to use bitterness, anger, resentment, and heart hardness will no longer be. My heart leaps for the joy that will fill my heart upon receiving forgiveness. My heart anticipates his transformation when he releases forgiveness to me. When forgiveness is extended by the other and received by me, we know hearts will be free, free to love each other again, free to live by God's plans and His plans alone. Such freedom comes with forgiveness.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Continually Forgiving,

Wisdom in Words

In chapter three of Self Talk, Soul Talk Jennifer Rothschild discusses Choosing Wise Words. (Join others at Lelia's to read more. ) Beliefs stem from assumptions. Thoughts and actions are based on our beliefs.

Root = assumptions

Fruit = thoughts

By practical means, we determine the kind of 'tree' by its fruit and not the root. Imagine if we had to dig up every tree and examine the roots before we decide if this is the fruit we want to purchase or eat.

I never thought about it but Jennifer said "the fruit of perfectionism springs from the root of low self-esteem and insecurity." Well, I do have perfectionism tendencies. I do struggle with low self-esteem and some insecurities. So you do the math...I have the root, then I have the fruit. An orange cannot grown on an apple tree without changing the root system to match that of an orange. So, we cannot change our fruit (thoughts) without changing our root system (assumptions). Shall we get out our shovel or maybe we need a back hole for our deep root system that's been growing for years. We need only to remove the roots of faulty assumptions so new roots of true assumptions can grow.

Jennifer shares three ways to gain wisdom: request it, revere God, and receive counsel.

Request It
I love, love, love the book of James. It is one well-rounded book that hits on every basic subject for living the Christian life. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5 Simply ask. No condemnation. No judgment. No fault finding. Freely, abundantly given. He lavishly and liberally provides wisdom.

Revere God
When we reverence God we receive wisdom. The fear of the Lord is wisdom. Proverbs 9:10 Said another way...to revere God is wisdom. Respect. Regard. Revere. Jennifer says "to fear the Lord means holding His knowledge and truth in higher regard than our own." I had to pen this statement forever in time as part of this post. I read it over and over. Yes, of course, I regard His knowledge higher than mine, right? Or do I? Do I at times think I know better? Do I think my idea of how this or that situation should play out is better? Do I trust His knowledge in my greatest heart's desire? The answer is yes, I do revere His knowledge. Only in my times of weakness do I think I know better and know it should be done "this" way. Only in the desperation of my heart, do I say I know better because I want "this" now and in this way. That is my flesh. My heart says I trust You, Lord. Your knowledge for me is so vast and so much greater than I could ever perceive.

Receive Counsel
Pasty Clairmont gained wisdom from wise counsel. She shared with Jennifer how she combats negative thoughts. "It's a three step approach: refuse things inaccurate, unkind or unedifying; replace them with what is good, pure, just; repeat that process for as long as it takes to bring my thoughts under control."

Wisdom brings:
♥ healing (Proverbs 12:18)
♥ sweet speech (Proverbs 16:21)
♥ honor (Proverbs 3:35)
♥ future and hope (Proverbs 24:14)
♥ understanding (Proverbs 14:8)
♥ protection (Proverbs 14:3)
♥ strength (Proverbs 24:4)

God provides us with an entire book in the Bible devoted to wisdom. To gain wisdom is to read and meditate on the greatest book of wisdom: Proverbs. We see in the prologue that Solomon's purpose in Proverbs is: for attaining wisdom and discipline. Proverbs 1:2a

He who gets wisdom loves his own soul. Proverbs 19:8a
Girlfriends, LOVE YOUR SOUL.

A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. Proverbs 16:23 I leave you with one Jennifer's last statements in this chapter. "To speak wisely to your soul will shrivel some of those sick roots and nourish the good roots that may be struggling."

Ponder these questions in your heart.
Do you have sick roots that need shriveled?
Do you have good roots that are struggling?
Are you speaking wisely to your soul?

Seeking Wisdom,

Clarification

My post "Does God Change His Mind?" might have been read by surprise, with confusion, or in doubt. It might have caused one to doubt my sanity, knowledge, foundation, spiritual state, or motive.
Rest assured I do not doubt God’s authority. I do not doubt His sovereignty. I do not doubt His ability to do whatever He chooses. I do not believe we can tell God what to do. We cannot manipulate Him. We cannot move Him with our faith without His permission, power, and control.

Abraham and Moses did not tell God what to do either. They merely reminded God of His words and promises. It is through their words and actions, God responded differently than He had most recently said but the same as He had previously said.

I stated previously and it’s worthy of repeating: We cannot say “if only I had enough faith, if only I pray hard enough.” That is not the picture I intended to be portrayed.

Rather, that post was written based on interpretation of scripture. Unfortunately, much of scripture is very gray and left to the reader, the believer, to interpret--presumably led by the Holy Spirit. We read, meditate, and interpret God’s Word. We take it for what it is: the Holy Word of the Almighty One. We take it as it is and trust His leading.

He tells us to ask, seek, and knock. (Matthew 7:7)
He tells us to believe and not doubt (Matthew 21:20)
He tells us to ask in faith believing we will receive. (Matthew 21:21)

He gives us examples of those who went before us. He shows us what He did for them and in response to them.

My post was merely my interpretation of the possibilities. All things are possible with God. Matthew 19:26

Too often times, God is put into a box. We don’t approach Him because our issue is too small or He has so too much on His plate. That is not the truth. We are to go to Him in prayer for all things. Without ceasing. Without halt. Without holding anything back.

God is God and after all He can change His mind. He can do whatever He pleases. But fortunately, it will always be for our good. (Romans 8:28)

However, everything that happens is not His will. But, everything does pass His Hands. He allows things but not everything is His will. What if the lady with the bleeding condition had not believed touching Jesus' hem would heal her? Would Christ have still healed her? He said she was healed by HER FAITH. I can't debate scripture. That is clear to me. Faith does have power. Faith does change. Faith is effective in His plans. See my post, "Master's Touch, Our Faith".

Lovingly Coming,

Renewing: Untruth to Truth

In chapter two of Jennifer Rothschild's book, "Self Talk, Soul Talk", she discusses renewing our thought closet.

As I began reading, I jotted down two questions. From where do these things come? From where have these thoughts taken root?

I found it very interesting that Jennifer mentioned that we can never remove thoughts from our closet. Once there, they can be permanent. Don't we all have memories and hurts that no matter what we do, those never leave us. Our mind seems to capture them and our cells can never rid our brain of them. With God's help, their power can diminish. We can relabel our thoughts. We can replace our false thoughts with truthful thoughts. This process is what Jennifer calls soul talk.

Silent words are not just silent words. Rather silent words quickly become residents in our closets. Thoughts taking space are likely to be believed by us. The silent words spoken become habit. It is through repetition that we speak to ourselves the same pattern of thoughts. Whether good or bad. We are creatures of habit. Just as it has become habit to speak unhealthy untruths, it is through habit we can speak truths. We need wisdom and training to replace the untruths with truth.

As Jennifer says, untruths are "too easy to retrieve and too hard to relinquish." Think about that. Read it again. Isn't that ever so true. We can so easily grab at those untruths. They are right there on the edge of the shelf. They are the first thought hanging in the closet. They are the top item in the bin. We can sort and organize all we want. We can replace them with truth. But for some reason we can always remember they were there. So are they really gone? Nah.

What are truthful words? Those that follow Jesus' example. Those filled with grace. Those filled with power. Jennifer says "Authoritative words should never be harsh and gracious words should never be without power." Wow...that's some good stuff in that statement.
Gracious. Powerful. Truth.

Does is really matter what we say to ourselves since no one is listening and no one is hurt? Yes, it does. "The words you say to yourself - both true and false - have the same impact as words you speak to others or they speak to you." That is so true. For me, I see that it hurts me by stomping on my self-esteem. When I lie to myself and beat myself up in my silent words and thoughts, I'm being destructive to the person God created. When I'm harsh to myself, it may also come out in how I represent myself. I may draw inward with negative self talk. I may seem rude to others because inside I'm beating myself. I may not give of myself because my self talk says I have nothing to give.

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5b

Correction. Not condemnation.
Instructive. Not destructive.

"Even the hard truths we speak to ourselves should not be condemning. They should build us up." I am a big supporter of constructive criticism and giving feedback. It seems in the working world we are quick to give negative feedback. I see the power of constructive criticism or positive feedback. A person cannot learn when not instructed of errors. I believe Jennifer is saying the same here. We are not to excuse ourselves when we make mistakes. But rather, we should give positive feedback. Acknowledge we could've done this better or should've done that a different way. We can learn through our self talk. We can instruct ourselves of our errors and how things should be done next time. We don't, however, need to beat ourselves into a hole until we are covered in muck, beaten to a pole, and left with no motivation to do it better next time because we are just a "screw up" anyway. No, no, no. We love ourselves and we speak to ourselves in love just as we are to speak to others with love.

The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21a

When this scripture is read, we probably all automatically think of the spoken word--out loud and to others. It also means those silent words to ourselves.

Words. Vitality. Demise.
We choose.

Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone. Colossians 4:6

Thoughts to ponder...
What hangs out in your closet?
What is pushed into the back corner but needs removed?
What untruths need to be replaced with truths?
What thoughts need to be relabeled?

To see what others have to say about the thoughts in our closets, visit Lelia.

Renewing with Truth,

Clean Out the Closet

Lelia is hosting an online study on the book "Self Talk, Soul Talk" by Jennifer Rothschild. I've read Jennifer's book "The Lessons I Learned in the Dark" and I've seen her at a conference. She is amazing, wonderful, gifted, and you would never know by seeing her that she is blind and has been since 15 years old. In chapter one, "Not So Well with My Soul", she discusses our thought closet and how we should take an inventory of it. I have so often thought "it is NOT so well with my soul."

I've always struggled with low self-esteem. I've lacked in the confidence department. Of course these were elevated when I wasn't invited to so-and-so's slumber party or not picked for a team. And then even today when I'm...not invited to dinner, not chosen for others to confide in, not deemed as one's best friend. After almost 35 years, I think I've come along way...from high school teenage stuff to even five or ten years ago. I believe low self-esteem is just a product of continual negative self talk. I just never labeled it as such.

Like Jennifer, I "suffer" from perfectionist tendencies. As a child, teen, and young adult I felt I could never be good enough. That would be true of today also but now I see it more that I fail than that I'm not good enough. I fail at eating healthy. I fail at exercising. I fail at disciplined quiet time. I fail at being giving or loving in all situations. I fail at attempts of making my introvert self into an extrovert. The list could go on and on.

Unbeknownst to me, this has been my self talk. As Jennifer says "our self talk actually begins to shape the life we live, affecting our very destiny." For the most part my self talk would probably be rated as condemning or at least negative. I'm working toward neutral and realizing my real value in Christ. I can admit on occasion, and talk to myself positively, about my gift of writing, my skills at work, my true concern for family and friends, etc.

I like how Jennifer relates our self talk to a closet and uses phrases regarding clothes and shoes. Aahh...the addiction of every woman, huh? :-) We can store in our thought closet "shelves and racks and bins full of hidden thoughts, secret insecurities, lies, illusions, and reminders of former failures." She really hit on all the uglies. Smacked us square in the eyes with the big uglies we tell ourselves. Insecurities. Failures. Oh please, don't remind me.

She says "Somehow, I had to stop my mind's reflex of continually rummaging through those boxes of ugly, ill fitting thoughts and words." When I read these words I thought of this...
Reflex...a natural, uncontrollable reaction.
Rummage...looking needlessly without any real purpose or direction or goals.
Ill-fitting...not suited, not matched, not intended.

We can control what we store in our thought closets. Nothing passes down our hallways and into our closets without our permission. We choose what will find storage in our closets, bins, and shelves.

What have I allowed to be stored in my thought closet? Not good things, that's for sure. Mostly not-so-good thoughts with an occasional good. What will I allow to take occupancy in my thought closet? Hopefully, I will be able to install a better security check before I buy into those thoughts, remove the alarm activating device, and take them home for my closet. Prayerfully, what consumes space in my closet will be more of what passes God's checkpoint.

It seems like I need to do some spring cleaning of my thought closets. I do not think the contents are fully what they should be or what God would desire. They would probably rest on the side of: negative, anxious, selfish, and condemning. To replicate Jennifer's words the content would be "ugly, outdated, out of line, and out of place." Maybe much like my real closet (with clothes).

I love the analogy Jennifer gave about what our mind captures. We tend to forget things so easily like: why we went into a room or where we placed things. Ever tried to place milk in the cabinet or clean dishes into the fridge? No, not me either. :-) Yet when it comes to our thought closets "our minds are like steel traps" says Jennifer. Isn't that the truth?! It can be so hard to remove the negative/unhealthy contents of our closet. And even harder to replace the contents with positive/healthy thoughts.

I like how Jennifer puts it here: "We have the appalling ability to remember all the wrong things at all the wrong times. Like a finely tuned GPS, we can locate just the right memory of failure, the perfect insecurity, or the timeliest untruth--just when we don't need it most!" Wow...such a very thick sentence with a powerful punch of truth!!

Paul tells us to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2.

It can be a scary and intimidating thought that we are a reflection of they way we think. Jennifer says: "What you hang in your closet is what you will clothe yourself with." Basically what God says. For as he thinks within himself, so he is. Psalm 23:7

I leave you with Jennifer's last statement in this chapter. "When you speak truth to your soul, you'll live out the truth. your soul talk really can help it become well with your soul."

Amen. I want it well with my soul and full of soul talk in my closet. "Jam-packed with healthy soul talk." Let's stop drawing from our dilapidated closets.

Cleaning My Closet with Soul Talk,