After a disheartening occurrence a week ago Friday, I knew I had to turn to the Lord right in the midst of the pain and the race of my heart. I didn't have my Bible in the car. I had to keep my mind on God. I prayed. I looked at my dashboard where I knew I had scripture. My scripture strips as I've referenced and invented them. I meditated on the top one. Psalm 25:4. Little did I know it wasn't the last time God would show this to me. I opened my email on that Friday night and read one of my daily devotionals. Would you know that the very first line I read was this verse. The title of the devotional being "The Lord Will Guide Your Steps!" You can imagine the awe. The thankfulness for this verse. The gratefulness for God speaking to me in this verse. The devotional continued with some verses very familiar to me. I am always amazed with one of "my" verses are written in something.
Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. Psalm 25:4-5,9-13
Do you need guidance and directions from the Lord in what you need to do? This was the start of the paragraph in the devotional I received. Well, yeah. Of course I do, do you not know my heart and life? I thought.
In this past week, it seems the heaviness has continued. This week of hibernation, because of the snow storm and not working four days, has not helped the heaviness weighing on my discouraged heart. I've thanked the Lord countless times for the electricity maintained in my home. I can't imagine enduring this week in silence, without connection to friends through the web, and with the ability to escape my life via movies and television. I thank the Lord that I was ever so blessed by a friend clearing my driveway. No, he did not shovel my drive. Indeed, he brought his tractor and scooped away the feet and feet of snow. The Lord reminds me of this blessing each time my eyes lay on the huge piles of snow at the end of my drive. Who would've ever seen such beauty in big dirty piles of snow. Just a piece of evidence of His presence. What a warmth to my heart to "see" His assurance of me not being alone even in this week of hibernation, a snow storm, and a heavy heart.
I've cried out to the Father many, many times this week. JUST show me...SHOW me Your ways...SHOW me what to do...SHOW me what to think...SHOW me what to believe in my circumstances. I asked yesterday that He just give me one sign...a sign of what is to come...a sign of what He is doing...a sign of what direction my life lays. Anything. It seems the issues of the heart can be so trying and take a toll on our spirit. It's not a matter of: Should I take this job? Should I sell my car? Should I take a second job? Should I relocate? Should I go back to school? Though, those are all very important matters and could be matters in many lives. It seems I take my issue so seriously and so intently because it is so close to my heart and it is my heart. It is about love, life, forgiveness, partnership, forever, marriage, devotion, commitment, vows, covenant.
It is not a matter of trust...trusting God. It is a matter of pain and longing. How does one put a cap on that? How does one close the door to that? How does one make it less important? How does one let go?
I apologize if this is vague. But it is so, for many reasons. One is that the more vague, the more lightly it may touch one of you and light something in your own heart. Though I try as I might to stick to my mission of this blog, at times, I believe God calls me to share more personally in hopes to accomplish many things. Maybe...healing in my heart, enlightenment in your heart as well as my own heart, encouraging one another, hoping my story of pain will help another share their story. The possibilities are wide when we open our hearts for God to speak to us and through us.
All in all, it is my hope that every post will touch you in some way to enrich your life, strengthen your walk, encourage your heart, or enlighten your mind.
Here are the other scriptures that were in that devotionals. All ones that were either etched on my heart or familiar to me. All verses that were soothing to my soul. May one of them speak to you and sooth your soul, warm your heart, or ease your mind.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21
For this God is our God forever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. Psalm 48:14
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
Show Me Lord, Show Me.