Where does the time go? It's been over a week since I posted. I very faithfully and regularly posted on our Bible study. I think because the study got my thinking and writing juices flowing. I've been having withdrawals from writing. As I've said before, writing is truly a time of deep communion with my Lord and Savior. I've had many thoughts and subjects come into my mind...thoughts of thankfulness, thoughts of testimony, thoughts of "let my people go". Yet, never the time to sit down and allow God to expand those snippets into a posting.
So, I sit here on Thanksgiving evening feeling the close of a very full day, feeling unexpectantly peaceful, joyful, and deeply thankful. For a month, I've been dreading the upcoming holidays. I feared this season would be worse than last year. Yesterday was so full of emotions. Work closing early brought memories of times shared with my beloved on such days. Making a new kind of turtle pumpkin pie brought desires of wanting to share this new recipe with beloved. Deviling my eggs brought reflection of times past and desiring more. My heart is heavy in the midst of joy spurts.
Even with a very restless night of insomnia and anxiety, I awoke with a joy for this day. I was surprised by a very lovely phone message from Lelia and two others contacted me via blogland and phone. I was ready for the day. I wanted to arrive at my mom's early and tempted to skip my daily reading of God's Word but I didn't. Thank you, Lord!
I'll spare you of all the details, but as I reflect on the day, I can clearly see how talkative I was to everyone. I cracked some pretty good jokes and made others laugh. My one cousin said he didn't think he'd been to my mom's house before today. Everyone was saying they thought he had. He said maybe he had. I chimed in and said "Maybe you should ask your kids since they still have their memory." He laughed and said "that's a good one." (He's my age, young.) Then there are the comments or inquiries that we can very perfectly and easily skip by just not contributing but I didn't. I was my extrovert side today. When talking with my dad and brother at times, I thought to myself, "shut up Paula" as I was just rattling about nothing essential.
I share all this to say...God never ceases to amaze me. I'm positive He doesn't you either. I'm pooped now and ready to chill with some CSI but I'm much at peace reflecting on today.
I do find it very odd that beloved as been on my heart, mind, and prayers, persistently the last week. Even in my dreams and you know how hard and emotional that can be with the person's presence feels and seems so real. :-( Even with that, I'm amazed at the peace of this day.
I knew that my mom would most likely ask me to say the prayer over lunch. Maybe's it not right, but I pondered on what I could say of meaning more than just a generic "we are thankful" and knowing that there are unbelievers and believers there. I'd like to share that prayer with you. It's nothing grand but I want to record the thoughts of my heart on this day, one expected to be difficult. Of course it's paraphrased as I do not have a photogenic memory. :-)
Father God, we come to you so thankful for all you provide for us. Lord, you offer salvation, love, and forgiveness for all of us to take. Thank you, Lord, for each and every person here. It is a true blessing to be with a house of 15 people. I have a very special friend who is with her mother only. So, to be in a house of this many is just an amazing gift. Father, we ask that you watch over those who could not be with us today. You, Lord, provide us with everything we have. We have so very much more than so many people. Jobs, cars, houses, food, health. Those simple things we take for granted. Lord, we thank you for this over abundance of food. Father, it is more than we could ever imagine. It is so much more than we deserve. I thank you for the hands who've prepared it and especially for my beautiful mother who worked so hard. We ask that you use this food for the nourishment of our bodies. In Christ's Name, Amen.
Again, nothing special about it. But, if I recall correctly, I was not able to pray last year as it was too, too close to my heart being freshly broken, crushed, and ripped out of my body. I believe my mom knew I couldn't pray without breaking down since it was only a week after the legal system declared me single...I don't even like the word or to be classified as it (d word).
Granted, when I pray with others I pray with respect to those in my presence. That is I try not to be too Christian in my words. I don't want to close someone's mind with talking too much about thankfulness of spiritual things. Those things I'm most thankful for are of a spiritual matter. Yes, I'm very grateful for work, job, money, house, family, friends, etc. But it goes so much deeper: His Word, freedom to worship, His sacrifice, His healing, His leading, His sovereignty, His concern for my specific life, needs, and desires. Yet, those are personal to me and not necessarily to those in my presence. Maybe I'm over cautious but I really struggle praying with unbelievers and even more with unbelieving family.
This is the very first post I've written free hand without preparation. I just wanted to give praise to the Lord for the beautifully unexpected day He gave me. There are many more things He did today but I don't want this to be a report of the day or my life. Rather, I want to use my life to point to Him and His light to shine, hoping the rays will hit another soul in anyway.
I've really been thinking about my blog mission and it's my deepest heart desire that I fulfill it. I pray that in some way for every reader each and every post will:
enrich your life
strengthen your walk
encourage your heart
enlighten your mind
The scripture that comes to mind that I want to share with you is this.
Rejoice in the Lord. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:4-7
You all mean so much to me. You really do. I pray for many of you regularly for your specific needs that you've shared with me. I sincerely consider all my bloggy friends REAL and true friends. The Lord has blessed me beyond my wildest imaginations with the bonds and friendships formed in just seven short months.
We [I-Paula] always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our [my] prayers. 1 Thess. 1:2
I pray the Lord's peace, healing, and strength on you all. Please know anytime you need me, contact me. Many of you have my email already stored in yours. If not, you can find it through my sidebar.
Much love to you by God's grace.
Standing in Awe and Amazement,